Strangers in My Car

Today in my neighborhood, I was driving down the road and noticed a man with a cane looking at his watch, then looking down the road. 

 He was obviously waiting for the bus but the bus wasn't in sight and I watched him decide to walk --- he was clearly in a hurry and afraid to be late. So I pulled over and asked him if he needed a ride. He spoke little English but pointed down the road the way I was going so I loaded him up and off we went. His name was Antoine and he was from Burundi. We talked as much as we could and I understood him to say that he has been here for 7 yrs and is starting to take English conversation classes on Vista. By pointing the way, I got him to his appointment and he was very grateful. This is the second time in a month that I've had strangers from Africa in my car. The other time was a family from Uganda, a beautiful family I might add, and they were also very grateful for the ride. 

I'm doing my part to make America kind again and I'm taking notes for the book that I worked on for six years so long ago. I think I'll bring it out, dust it off and begin again. There's always room for one more book about kindness, don't you think? The file is in the shed ... And so it begins again.

Making Everything Fun

I recently went grocery shopping at an unusually busy time of day and by the time I tried to check out, there were a hundred others trying to do the same. There were only 2 check stands open.
 
As you can imagine, the atmosphere was tense and there were lots of cranky faces. I wasn't in a hurry, I make it a point never to be in a hurry and I've noticed that the lines I encounter at the grocery store or the post office never take as long as I imagined they would. With practice, it's easy now to relax and take the opportunity to observe. I'm a bit of a snoop and I enjoy listening to people talk, I like watching how people relate to each other and how they handle these types of situations in particular.

I jumped in line and the woman in front of me had a little boy in her cart. He was sitting among her selections instead of in the cart-seat, so he had a fairly free range of motion. I didn't really notice him until he started throwing a fit about wanting something from the shelves of goodies by the check stands. I wonder how much extra candy they sell that way or if it just adds an another layer of confusing choices to our lives?

Anyway, I try to lend a subtle hand when I can, so when the boy looked at me, I gave my head a quick shake and he stopped screaming and hid from me. Well, that started the game. He peeked out, I made a funny face at him and he laughed, so I pretended to look all around, ignoring him and then mime surprise when I caught him peeking. He laughed and laughed at my antics, he was very responsive and we had a terrific few minutes playing in the check-out line!

In fact, we connected so well that we ended up with a very active kiss throwing episode. As his mother pushed the cart out of the lane heading for the door, that kid and I waved and threw kisses until I had to turn back to my own business of checking out. Which brought me face to face with a cranky checker! Oops. By then I was feeling pretty good so I told the checker how much I appreciated her efforts on such a busy night. She grumbled about missing her break, so I told her how wonderful she was. She chuckled a little, so I told her that, in fact, she was so wonderful, I would gladly wait in line all night just to get her! That made her laugh and we cheerfully finished our business together.

When I glanced at my watch, I realized that my whole wait in line had taken 20 minutes from beginning to end. That 20 minutes could have been spent complaining and getting stressed, but instead I left feeling fabulous! The bottom line? I don't do these types of things for others --- although it's nice to think that others benefit from my happy energy --- I do it for me, for my own joyful amusement.

Life is good when we're having fun, so find a way to make EVERYTHING fun, that's my motto!

(This post is a reprint from my website, www.practicehappiness.com, 2008) 

Why Kindness is the Key

I created this new blog site yesterday with the intention of blogging my way into a book, The Art of Kindness. Seems that the political atmosphere of the country has taken a serious turn for the worse and now more than ever we need to pull out all the tricks to keep ourselves feeling OK.

 However, I was sitting here a minute ago thinking about the outcome of the coming elections and for the first time ever thinking that I should find another country to move to. Canada is too cold and may close its borders to the US and Mexico too hot. No wonder this is the land of plenty --- as Goldilocks would say, this country is just right. Surely some little town in Mexico near the ocean would work for me. But I have two income sources that may go away in the coming years and then I'd be penniless in a foreign country. Sheesh! This must be the prevailing attitudes among many today and I can really feel it.

But running away won't help. Whatever is going to go down will effect the whole world. Neither Hillary nor Trump will be a good choice and there I will be again, having to choose between two evils. I just won't do it! I've never done it before and I can't start now. If Bernie isn't the guy, I'll stay home and write books about how to survive. I've known all along that the strings of the world were being pulled by an unseen few and that we would never know what goes on behind the scenes. As this election year plays out, we'll see what happens but I refuse to give in to despair about it at any point.

And then this message came to me as I wrote:

"This is a time of cleansing and clearing and all the buried emotions that have created our world so far are being revealed to be inspected, reviewed and discarded. This is a process that must be done, must be endured in order to get to the other side. Just like a tumor hiding deep inside, it must be revealed and acknowledged before it can be healed. And like any other healing journey, attitude is everything! Do what needs to be done to keep the energy high, stay hopeful and talk to others with kindness even when they are harsh. The stress of the day is increasing to an almost unbearable degree, people will snap and break when they get scared and mean, they become hard and unbending. Find a way to remind yourself that this is not who we really are, it's simply a response to stress. Underneath it all, we are all human and all want the same things --- to feel safe and secure, loved and supported, heard and understood. Find ways to be kind."

And so I've shared my thoughts and fears and the reason for creating this blog. I'll be telling my stories here, the stories I've collected and experienced since 1985 when my kindness adventure began and I'll also be sharing the stories of others as they contribute the outcomes of their kindness experiences. Those of us willing to take up the cause of kindness and practice even when it's hard will be the ones to help turn the tide on the storm that is coming. Because the time is now! No matter who gets elected this year, the tumor has been revealed and the process has begun. We can do this, we can all do this if we can maintain a good attitude in the face of all the stress and worry for the future. Like Bernie says, we can do it if we stick together and don't let fear divide us.

Let kindness be the guide. Kindness is an art and like any other art, it must be practiced. Kindness keeps us sane and focused on what we're doing right now, who we're talking to right now, who we're on the road with right now. Kindness can pull us back from worry in the future and an angry response in the present and can connect us to others. Kindness lifts the mask of fear to reveal the truth --- that we are in this together and we may not be able to save the world but we can help each other in this moment and by doing so, we will spread the energy that will save the world.

Thank you so much for reading my first blog post in The Art of Kindness. You're invited to share your stories in the comment section and to connect with me via Facebook at www.facebook.com/randysandknop